the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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