She's the barista slut.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
