I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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