What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
