Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
