absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster