are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?