And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
