I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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