everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
