He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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