Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
