even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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