Buhtt sex?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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