I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
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Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
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I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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