I accidentally had phone sex last night
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
