You made me cry and you don't even care
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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