Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
