CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
