Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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