She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
