It's just like the Real World with babies
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
