FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
