lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
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I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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