I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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