But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
