I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
