Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
