Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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