Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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