Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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