I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
