He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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