What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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