He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
