That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
