Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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