I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
