Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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