Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
mondays should just be called national damage control day
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
