office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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