It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
