Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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