Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
