why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
