At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
