I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
