He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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