Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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