I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
