The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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