This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
