North Korea, Best Korea!
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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