we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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