I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Randomize
