The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
