I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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