then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
