Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I need moral support for this bender
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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