Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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