Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
