All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
