Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
