i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize